Find Out More About Yourself

by | Mar 26, 2021 | Resources

Natalie Dainesi

Intern at UpStreet

Find Out More About Yourself

Want to learn more about yourself in a unique, accessible way? 

Personality tests are a fun, interactive way to learn about yourself and embark on a journey of self discovery. Currently, there is a wide variety of personality tests available. These tests range anywhere from self-report tests available online, meant for the everyday individual to take, to tests that are available for medical professionals. For example, some tests such as the MMPI and Rorschach personality tests, are used in clinical settings for psychologists to get better insight into their client’s personality. Listed below are two personality tests that are available for personal use and meant for leisure and self discovery. 

Picture taken from: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/blog/breaking-down-the-enneagram

One popular personality test is The Enneagram Personality Test. This test is free, available online, and will reveal your personality based off a bank of nine personality types: Type One- Perfectionist, Type Two- Advisor, Type Three- Achiever, Type Four- Individualist, Type Five- Thinker, Type Six- Guardian, Type Seven- Optimist, Type Eight- Challenger, Type Nine- Mediator (Refer to picture above).This test takes around 5-10 minutes to complete. Once the test is completed, the website offers descriptions of your results including strengths and weaknesses for your particular enneagram personality type. 

 

Link to the test: https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test

Picture taken from: https://elearning.rcog.org.uk//new-human-factors/self-awareness/myers%e2%80%93briggs-type-indicator

Another useful personality test is the Myers & Briggs test. This test will result in one of sixteen personalities and is geared toward revealing personal strengths. This test can be useful for figuring out possible career choices and learning more about how to apply your strengths to the everyday world. The Myers & Briggs personality test has been highly researched and reviewed for validity and reliability. Yet, it is important to remember that inaccurate responses can still occur. Lastly, this test is a bit on the longer side, with 130 questions. It will take about 10-15 minutes to complete.  

Link to the test: https://www.truity.com/test/type-finder-personality-test-new

Remember when taking these tests that they are not mental health evaluations! They are simply a way to gain deeper insight into your own self, including your strengths and weaknesses. In addition, no one personality test is accurate for everyone! 

The Importance of Positive Self Talk

by | Feb 19, 2021 | Tips and Tricks

Natalie Dainesi

UpStreet Intern

The Importance of Positive Self Talk

It is very easy to find ourselves stuck in a pattern of negative self talk. Some examples of this include, “I’m ugly,” “I’m not good enough,” or “There is no way it is going to work.” Statements like these can be detrimental to our mental health and well-being, not to mention self-esteem. 

When we begin to focus on all the “bad” or unpleasant things in life, our mindset begins to change. We soon find ourselves developing a pessimistic outlook on numerous aspects of our lives. Changing our thinking begins with curbing our negative thoughts and implementing positive self talk into our everyday lives. 

Here are some healthy suggestions for encouraging positive self-talk during certain situations:

When you are feeling not good enough

Stop being your toughest critic. Take a moment and evaluate yourself, focusing on your strengths and accomplishments. In addition, learn to recognize signs of when you are being self-critical so you can begin to stop. This might be tough at first, but you will soon realize that you are a lot stronger than you thought. 

Acknowledge that there will always be someone out there who is better than you, and that’s ok! Embrace who you are and focus on being the best version of yourself. No one can be you, and that in and of itself is extremely powerful. 

Practice developing a positive, personal self mantra. A personal mantra serves as an affirmation to yourself in order to help motivate you to be the best version of yourself. It can provide encouragement and motivation to help promote positive self talk. 

Here is a video from one of our therapists at JFCS, Angelica, in which she explains a meditation practice involving a positive self mantra:

When you are feeling overwhelmed

Sometimes when you are feeling frustrated or overwhelmed with your emotions, it is easy to fall into a pattern of telling yourself “that it won’t get better” or “there is no way that is going to work.” This can serve as a massive barrier to accomplishing your goals. In addition, this negative self talk can make you feel even more overwhelmed. 

Try changing your perspective on the issue. You can do this by explaining the situation out loud and then thinking to yourself, if my friend were to come to me with this statement/situation, what would I say to him/her/them? 

Here is a guided affirmation meditation video from Fearless Soul on YouTube, specifically meant for feeling overwhelmed: 

When you are feeling that you “will never be different”

This thought leaves us in a pit of hopelessness. If we truly believe that nothing can change, and things are going to just stay the same, then it would be very difficult to obtain our goals and the possibility of success. Leave yourself open to the possibility of change and seek to allocate resources for this change to happen. Whether it is finding the help you need or finding ways to make light of the situation that you are in, change is possible.

Practice being open. In addition, try shifting your thinking from fixed beliefs to probability thinking. This can start with recognizing that because you believe something, doesn’t mean you can prove it. Through practicing these exercises, you can start to develop a sense of optimism in a realistic way, reducing negative self-talk.

When you find yourself caught up in a period of any type of negative self talk, it is always a good idea to stop, recognize your thoughts, and work on changing them into something positive. It takes time, but you ultimately have the power to change your thinking!

Are Relationships Really Supposed to Be Like That?

Are Relationships Really Supposed to Be Like That?

by | Oct 23, 2020 | Resources

Wait… Are Relationships Really Supposed to Be Like That?

Natalie Dainesi

UpStreet Intern

Understanding Healthy Relationships 

You are scrolling through Instagram, looking at the photos on your feed from over the weekend. Through the mass array of content presented to you, you notice a trend. You frequently see posts of people with their friends, boyfriends, girlfriends or partners. The posts portray two or more people smiling at a pumpkin patch, laughing while celebrating a birthday or posing in front of a scenic overlook. The captions usually contain heart emojis, explanations of how thankful they are for their friendship/relationship or phrases like “squad goals,” “my A1” or “my ride or die.” Among these photos, you also see quotes and pictures from top accounts portraying “the perfect couple.”   You think to yourself, is this really what their relationship is like, all love and smiles? 

How many times have you scrolled through Instagram, Snapchat or TikTok and saw a post containing the negative side of your followers’ relationships including, the constant arguments, swarming gossip, toxic nature or jealousy issues? I can bet none. 

This is because we live in a world that portrays what “ideal” friendships and relationships consist of…based on snapshots of people’s best moments.This is detrimental to the understatement on the quality of relationships and how they are supposed to be like in our day-to-day lives, behind the scenes of social media. Today ,teenagers and young adults are having a harder time figuring out if their romantic relationship or friendship is unhealthy or toxic. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, relationships and friendships are an essential part of our psychological needs. We are born to be social beings, creating connections between ourselves and others. Yet, Maslow doesn’t make it clear as to what constitutes a healthy or unhealthy relationship. 

Taken from: simplypsychology.org

 

Here are a few guidelines to remember when you question yourself about a relationship with a friend or partner: 

  • Trust – Trust is the foundation for relationships, in which a bond is formed between one or more individuals. This is important in creating confidence with someone in order to feel safe physically and emotionally. Establishing trust isn’t easy! It takes time and effort from both sides of the relationship. 
  • Support- “The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day,” said author Nishan Panwar. A healthy relationship consists of mutual support, even within a friendship. It is not healthy when a partnership is one-sided and one person is always the source of support. Friends are supposed to help build you up and help you work towards reaching your goals. 
  • Individuality- You should never have to change who you are in a relationship. If you feel pressure to act a certain way around your friends, maybe it’s time to take a step back and evaluate. One way to do this is to create a set of values and beliefs that are important to you. Keep this set of values in the back of your mind when making decisions and evaluating a relationship. It is not healthy if a person is pushing you to go against your own belief system and act a certain way. 
  • Understanding- Setting boundaries is important in relationships. This includes communicating with your friend or partner how you would like to be treated in the relationship/friendship. It is also important to work on understanding each other’s feelings and recognize behavioral patterns. 

 

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, in which we recognize survivors and victims of domestic abuse. It is important to remember that domestic violence can affect both romantic relationships and friendships. By using the guidelines above and evaluating patterns of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, we can help lower the risk of domestic violence. These aren’t the only guidelines that you should be aware of when evaluating your relationships and friendships – just a few.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800)-799-7233 or at thehotline.org. 

 

Natalie Dainesi is a current Intern at JFCS with the UpStreet Team. She is currently a Master’s of Social Work student at The University of Pittsburgh.